Question:
Is it allowed to give one’s one child more than the others when it comes bestowing gifts? In other words, is it allowed to treat one’s children unequally when giving gifts?
Answer:
الجواب باسم ملهم الصواب
- The general principle regarding distributing gifts amongst one’s children is that a person should not discriminate between them and should treat his male and female children all equally.
- Therefore, if one has 10 children (5 males and 5 females), for example, and he/she wants to distribute £10,000 between them as gifts, he/she should give £1,000 to each of them.
- However, it is permissible to give one child more than others for some specific reasons, such as knowledge, piety, service to Islam or parents, personal needs etc. Therefore, if a child is more needy/poorer then others, there is nothing wrong in giving him/her a little extra.
- On the other hand, to give one of them more than others for no valid reason is Makrooh Tanzeehee (disliked) – if it does not involve harming others. If it, however, involves harming others, it will be Makrooh Tahreemee (closer to Haram/impermissible).
- It is also worth noting that an immoral and irreligious son/daughter should not be given more than their needs; otherwise, it will amount to helping him/her in their sinful activities. Rather, an individual should spend the surplus money in charitable, humanitarian and religious activities.
Only Allah knows best.
Answered by:
Abdullah Fahim
Imam & Khateeb, Masjid Taqwa
Kyrwicks Lane, Birmingham
18 Rajab 1442 AH
احسن الفتاوى: 7/256-258
عمدة القاري شرح صحيح البخاري: 13/201-206
تكملة فتح الملهم: 2/43-46
قال الشيخ تقي العثماني: «فالذي يظهر لهذا العبد الضعيف عفا الله عنه: أن الوالد إن وهب لأحد أبنائه هبة أكثر من غيره اتفاقا، أو بسبب علمه، أو عمله، أو بره بالوالدين، من غير أن يقصد بذلك إضرار الآخرين، ولا الجور عليهم، كان جائزا على قول الجمهور… أما إذا قصد الوالد الإضرار، أو تفضيل أحد الأبناء على غيره بقصد التفضيل من غير داعية مجوزة لذلك، فإنه لا يبيحه أحد.» (تكملة فتح الملهم: 2/46)