Question:
I would like to divorce my wife, as I believe that our marriage has irretrievably broken down. How shall I divorce my wife in accordance with Islamic teachings?
Answer:
الجواب باسم ملهم الصواب
In Islam, a person is highly encouraged to save his marriage. For this reason, Islam has commanded that all necessary measures should be taken to reconcile the husband with the wife, and vice versa – whether through mediation or marriage therapy or any other similar measures.
It has been narrated from the prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) that he said: “Of all the lawful acts the most detestable to Allah is divorce.” [Abu Dawud: 2178]
However, if the relationship between the husband and wife breaks down to such an extent that it becomes irreconcilable, Islam permits the husband to divorce his wife in such circumstances – but only as the last resort.
The Islamic way of divorcing one’s wife is as follows:
- To divorce one’s wife by saying, “I divorce you”, only once (a divorce which is revocable, i.e. Raj’ee);
- in her purity, i.e. she is not on her menstrual period;
- provided that the husband has not cohabited with the wife during that period; and
- not to go near her until her ‘Iddah’ has expired.
The ‘Iddah’ of a woman who gets regular menstrual cycles is three menstrual cycles, starting from the date on which divorce was issued. For a pregnant woman, it expires as soon as the woman gives birth. For all other women, it is three months.
Provided that all the above conditions are met, as soon as the ‘Iddah’ of a woman finishes, she will no longer be regarded as a wife of the particular husband – according to Islamic teachings.
Only Allah knows best.
Answered by:
Abdullah Fahim
Imam & Khateeb, Masjid Taqwa
Kyrwicks Lane, Birmingham
7th Dhul-Hijjah 1441 AH
عن ابن عمر رضي الله عنه عن النبي ﷺ قال: «أبغض الحلال إلى الله عز وجل الطلاق»، رواه الإمام أبو داود (كتاب الطلاق، باب في كراهية الطلاق، رقم: 2178)
قال في الدر: (طلقة) رجعية (فقط في طهر لا وطء فيه) وتركها حتى تمضي عدتها (أحسن). (راجع الدر المختار مع حاشية ابن عابدين: ج 9، ص 101-103، دار الثقافة والتراث)
احسن الفتاوى: 5/435